So let me tell you about these wonderful intensive German classes we've been having. After a placement test two weeks ago, I was placed into the lower level of the two classes offered here. I guess I am satisfied with my placement because it sounds like the upper class would be too much over my head. However it seems we are using the same German textbooks we used in my German 201 class I took two semesters ago which kind of makes me feel like I'm taking remedial German, but I'm okay with that (really, I need it...) Also all of the students in the upper course are in their 6th, 7th, or 20th year of exposure to the language.
I was extremely nervous about the upcoming class since: (a) I hadn't really practiced my German all summer (insert lame excuse here); and (b) prior students had told us that our teacher, Frau Offenberger, is a really tough German who takes no crap and has a legendary 'stare of death.' Well we walk into class on the first day (we have it from 9:00am - 3:30pm with 1-3hrs of homework daily) and there, sitting at the desk is not the German she-devil I was expecting but a woman who looked akin to as if Mrs. Claus had taken a liking to wearing cravats under her shirt and strangely fitting knitted sweaters. As we entered the room, she smiled at us and welcomed us to the course and did the teachery things teachers awkwardly do in the first few minutes of any course. Her demeanor can only have been described as grandmotherly, there was no stare of death but always a kind smile, and at several points in the day I wouldn't have been surprised if she pulled open her bag and served us all chocolate chip cookies, or a German equivalent. Little did we know that this was merely a front that was presented that first day to cover something no one could have prepared us for. I have now gotten used to her teaching style now but that first week was extremely difficult. So here's a typical five minutes in our class:
- Frau Offenberger asks us to give a sentence or asks us a question in German, usually an excersize in whatever grammar we're currently reviewing
- You answer, to the best of your ability
- Frau Offenberger stares at you blankly for at least 10 seconds. This is no ordinary, "Is that 55 year old German man really wearing blindingly yellow florescent capris?" kind of stare but a stare that goes directly into your soul and makes you question your very morals and all you know or all you think you know until you have nearly forgotten your name in a whirlwind of pronoun declensions and verb conjugations.
- Whether your answer was correct or not, you then frantically mumble something new, trying to crash through the awkward silence and trying to correct whatever you got wrong, usually sabotaging your answer even more
- Frau Ovvenberger's stare changes dramatically with merely the twitch of an eyebrow to a stare that begs a question akin to "how was that actually a legitimate attempt to communicate with someone/"
- You then hang your head low in shame as she corrects you and your classmates mourn for their fallen comrade
In the last week. most of us have found ways not to be fooled by her deadly enchanting stare. I have discovered that a confident blank stare back can easily lessen the awkwardness of the silence. However sometimes a concerned "Ist das logisch?" needs to be fired in extreme situations.
Otherwise class has been chugging along and I cant believe we are halfway through. Every day we pretty much cover the same amount of material we would have covered in a week of German at ND. This puts the intense into Intensive Language Course. My 20 minute attention span is also being tried every day as we go for more than 1.5 hours without taking a break.
Coming up next: Life in the Heftie and the Pope-trip. yeah. Get excited.
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